西行求学（小结）：上下求索，不忘初心 Journey to the West: Exploring and Remembering

(English version below.)

过去十天，分享了七年来，从上海—德国—美东—美西，从“为学日益”到“为道日损”的"西行求学"之路。不知西，焉知东。

梳理这一看似个人的历程，不是为了怀旧或满足讲故事欲，而是感觉，作为九零后的前排，有些反思也许能与时代共勉。

过去七年，基本没有用中文写作，也没有与原来的同学朋友们保持联系。关于辞职、行路的决定，也没有事先给所有家人打过招呼。所以，略带忐忑地分享心路历程、讲述初衷誓愿，即使没有“提笔忘字”之碍，也有“近乡情更怯，不敢问来人”之感。

非常感谢亲朋们的包容、理解、支持。虽然车还没开始骑，但是心中的轮子，早已转动多时。朝圣之路，是在发心的一刹那，就已经开始了的。之后的一切，都是细节，都是修行的加持。

下面，把“西行求学”系列的十篇文章的摘要集中到一处，以方便查看，明朗线索。若要阅读每篇的原文，可以点击关注这个公众号，然后点击“查看历史消息”，浏览之前所有的分享。

欢迎关注“东行心路JourneyEast”的公众号，微信号是Journey2E。二月底，开始骑行后，会在这里实时分享路上的感悟、感动。

时间轴：

• 2008 年秋，从上海赴德国交流一年，在当地上完高三
• 2009 年秋，到美国东岸，Hampshire College，四年本科
• 2013 年夏，大学毕业，骑行横跨北美大陆，到旧金山开始上班
• 2015 年春，发愿以朝圣心路，环球骑行，只为回归于根本，服务于时代
• 2016 年春，再次启程，从旧金山开始向东

西行求学（系列）：上下求索，不忘初心

（一）：重振中华文明

作为“西行求学”系列的第一篇，分享2009年初，在德国学习生活半年后，写的一篇标题大言不惭的“重振中华文明”。虽然幼稚，但也是一个坐标，一片赤诚，是一个17岁青年，初次离开祖国，到了既友好又矜持的、前八国联军之一的德国的条件反射，记录了作为一个中国人的自我意识觉醒，以及对中华文化的自豪与纠结。

（二）：一个爱国青年的自白

求学欧美，不自觉的变成了爱国愤青，很不耐烦任何批评中国的声音，很难把个人的自尊与国家的面子分开，很容易把中华文明与中国政府划等号。经理痛苦的精神断奶、重建自我之后，仍然爱国，但对“爱”与“国”的理解不同。希望爱国之心越来越平和、博爱、实在。

以上两篇，记录“中华情结”与“爱国之心”的进化，建立独立于“国家意志”的自我认知的过程。

（三）：自由独立，大学精神

大学四年，求学于一所即使以美国先锋文理学院的标注来看也很不同寻常的大学，Hampshire College。这四年，能逐渐排解应试、功利之余毒，理解教育内涵，实践知行合一、身心兼修，让我对Hampshire的精神感激不尽。

（四）：逻辑的尽头，人文的救赎

在大学最后一学期，才惊醒认识到，四年求学，苦修西方逻辑理性，以期破解欧美富强的密码，而忽视了人文艺术的熏陶，对心灵有巨大的代价。所幸为时不晚。我们每个人，从“人定胜天”到“天人合一”的自我修复过程，就是修复社会、自然的过程。

以上两篇，分享了大学四年中，尽情吸收西方文理教育精华，并开始意识到工业增长、逻辑理性的局限性。

（五）：骑行美国 - 西游记

大学毕业后，赴美国西岸上班之前，为了化解象牙塔四年对身心的局限，为了更深入体验美国风土人情，知青主动下乡改造，一人骑行美国。在“圣贤书”、“万里路”、“普通人”的点滴感化之下，不知不觉，促成一次心灵之旅。为接下来的“东行心路”播下了种子。

（六）：美好世界的工具箱

“起初，我们创造工具。之后，工具创造我们。”过去两年，在美国思想最开放、探索最前卫的旧金山湾区，有幸接触到不少“美好世界的新工具”，新范式。这里分享一些对我影响很深的“工具”，因为能预见到，这些工具对中国的觉醒，会起到很重要的辅助。

以上两篇，讲述离开象牙塔后，打开视野、心扉，接触到美好新世界，为今后的朝圣骑行、回国“还宝”，做了储备。

（七）：西方佛法，东方福音

21世纪，也许是“西方佛法”与“东方福音”的对称崛起，是千年一遇的文化交流。看似是拜了对方的圣人为师。其实，是地球自我修复的过程。弄好了，万法同宗的真理将融汇古今中西，带领人类文明进入新境界。弄不好，舍本逐末，极端主义会感召出人间地狱。

（八）：内观禅修，如梦初醒

从2008年夏，开始西行求学，一路上“为学日益”，向外苦苦追求进步。直到2014年夏，参加第一次十天的内观课程，才如梦初醒，开始转向“为道日损”，从此不同。许多第一次做完内观课程的同学们都说，这十天，是这辈子最困难、也最重要的十天。

以上两篇，标记了重要人生转变、内心觉醒。从“寻觅于外”到“反求诸己”，从物质到心灵，开始更深层的思索与修行。

（九）：工作 vs 使命

我们大多数人都被困在《黑客帝国》所描述的“矩阵”里，做着既定的工作，遵守各样的规则。即使如此，我们仍有内心的自由，能选择使命，给矩阵注入颠覆性的代码: being the change we wish to see in the world

（十）：西行尽头，重遇东方

职场两年后，决定辞去高大上的管理咨询工作，告别传统意义上的安全与成就，而顺从于内心的呼唤。其实工作不久，已经意识到，此非根本之道。但这两年的历练成长，必不可少，受益良多。终于，在天地师友的启发、鼓励之下，发心开始朝圣心路，服务于时代的觉醒。

以上两篇，回顾了“寻找使命于工作”，到“真心请命于天地”，再到“豁然知命而领命”，在本命之年，发愿服务，再次启程。

以上十篇，过去七年，一言以蔽之：上下求索，不忘初心。

从明天，到羊年年底，会开始分享接下来“东行心路”的缘起、朝圣骑行的准备。

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Journey to the West

Here is a series of reflections, punctuating the past seven years of "Journey to the West", in pursuit of knowledge, and gradually, of knowing.

1. Revival of Chinese Civilization

(Texts in Chinese only).  As a starting point, this essay, written at the age of 17, while I was an exchange student in Germany, reflects a budding sense of "mission", of identity, and the joy and sadness around the state of Chinese civilization in the 21st century.

2. Confessions of a Chinese Nationalist

Coming to the US in 2009, being "Chinese" suddenly became a defining part of how I am perceived by my peers, thus by myself. I experienced an onset of strong nationalism, as a "proxy war" of egos. Gradually, this unexamined reaction gave way to three realizations.

The above two pieces recorded the evolution of my relationship with "China", and the de/re-construction of self identify independent of official national narrative.

3. Why I love Hampshire College

Most grateful for my four years at Hampshire College, a college that changes life in the most meaningful and unexpected ways, and a place that create tomorrow's entrepreneurs of change. I love Hampshire, because it's imperfect. Here's how.

4. A Not-Yet-Permanent Damage: Missing Humanities and Arts

After having spent three hardworking years to understand the dominant system, it is not easy to admit its ugliness. Thankfully, at the end of the Tyranny of Logic, there always awaits the Salvation of Humanities -- not that the two are mutually exclusive.

The above two pieces recorded the college years of soaking up the best of Western liberal arts education, and increasingly realizing the limits of Reason, Logic, Growth, and Progress.

5. Biking Across USA

In summer 2013, after graduating from college, I bicycled alone from Western Massachusetts to San Francisco. The journey took 74 days, 3,400 miles, and 7 flat tires. I wore normal sandals, never locked my bike once, never spent a dime on lodging, and never encountered a single bad person. People of all faiths, colors, and backgrounds went out of their way to help this young man from China -- a stranger, a foreigner, and a traveler. This experience has touched me so deeply, and changed my life for better.

6. Toolkit for Life

During the two years of living in the Bay Area, I am grateful to have encountered these "tools" for a "more beautiful world our hearts know is possible": Vipassana meditation, Nonviolent Communication, Theater of the Oppressed, Work That Reconnects, Talking Circle, Men's Work, Rite of Passage/ceremony/rituals... Most of these tools are new to China in their modern incarnations, but all find deep resonance from the traditions. May these "tools" provide leverage in our collective awakening!

The above two pieces shared the "re-education" and "widening circles" of the intellectual youth, in the two years since he had left the comfort zone of the Ivory Tower. These experienced sowed the seed for the Journey to the East.

7. Dharmma in the West, Gospel in the East

Our era might be marked by the symmetrical rise of Dharma in the West, and Gospel in the East. Maybe, in this grand, millennial swap of spiritual teachings, East and West will deepen their mutual understanding, and come to realize the similarity in their respective heritages -- and to wake up, together.

8. Reflections from a 10-day Meditation

Reflections from a Vipassana meditation: gratitude, humility, repentance, and awe. They helped to call up a strong dedication inside, to vow to change. Also reminded by Rumi to be gentle on myself, and to persevere: "Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come."

The above two pieces marked the beginning of (semi-)conscious spiritual cultivation and deeper inquiries, a most important turning point in life.

9. Finding the Real Work, Hacking the Matrix

Most of us are not cut loose from the tentacles of the Matrix, the dominant Story and socio-economic system. Nor do we yet have the inner-clarity and strength to confront or rise above it. But, we can hack the Matrix, breeding a new world bit by bit. We can use our roles – as nurses, consultants, teachers – to practice inner change, to strengthen the root systems of the gift ecology, and to do the “real work.”

10. Knew It; Start Again

"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you." Finally, under the inspiration of noble friends, I surrendered the false security and achievements, and resolved to follow the heart's calling.

The above two pieces traced the gradual process of finding the calling and surrendering to the heart's deeper knowing.

The 10-piece series highlighted the major realizations and turning points over the past seven years of moving from Shanghai to Germany to Massachusetts to San Francisco -- a Journey to the West.

The poet T.S. Elliot has summed it up for me:

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started 
And know the place for the first time.